Beginning the journey of healing from family addiction – Unstoppable Moms
So this is my very first post as Unstoppable Moms! I will try not to be boring, just planning to set the stage today. My goal is to be succinct, interesting, and helpful!
In my 40s, I became a single mother and Unstoppable Moms of a teenage addict, and I was trying to force myself to carry on, go to work, manage the household, and live a healthy lifestyle myself. I really wanted to have a normal life! I was my daughter’s single mother all along, but it wasn’t until she became a teen that drugs entered the picture.
My strongest desire was to feel happy, peaceful, and confident, make money, live a healthy life, and live without fear and indescribable suffering. If you have a child addict, you’ll know the “indescribable suffering” I’m talking about!
The thing is, I was submerged in my fear and hopelessness, and anxiety, which made it almost impossible for me to live the simple life I craved. That meant I wasn’t able to feel happy, peaceful, or confident, make money, and live a healthy life, let alone live without paralyzing fear and suffering. I didn’t even realize that what I was feeling was fear, I was so lost in despair.
To make things worse, I was exhausted, depressed, gaining weight, and barely surviving financially, and I thought it was something deficient inside of ME. I felt even worse about the situation because I could not seem to muster up the determination and gumption to change, and my mental state continued to spiral down.
The Unstoppable Moms means I hit some kind of wall, and the problem was that I just couldn’t go on. I felt like giving up. Which meant giving up on the possibility of a happy peaceful life and ultimately my child, as well as my own health and well-being. I had to make a drastic change or lose everything I had worked for in my life.
Then, as if by chance, something amazing happened…
That’s when I discovered a training program for Realtors that was actually a design for living based on taking responsibility for my thoughts and feelings! I didn’t know this when I enrolled! Coincidence?? I think not! Divine intervention more likely!
That was almost 10 years ago, and I have been on this journey ever since. Back then, it became crystal clear to me that I could be purposeful in the face of adversity because I learned that I could live a life worth living despite the circumstances.
I also learned that life was happening to me. When you realize that life is happening for you and that its up to you to make it a life worth living instead of a life of suffering, and you’ve shown the way, why wouldn’t you go all in?!
In the beginning, I just got up each morning (well, most of them!)and went to work. As I did that, I started feeling that I was productive, and I felt more energy, I felt like maybe there was something to be grateful for. The Realtor training program, and the action I took because of it, caused me to realize that I could rise above my challenges.
Suddenly, I was making some money and putting routine back into my life. That’s when I realized that the secret to carrying on, going to work, managing the household, and living a healthy lifestyle was within me already.
The training program took about two months, and I was so lucky it was offered again right away, so I took it again! My plan was to keep learning and implementing the strategies I was being taught. Strategies for a life worth living, not just for real estate! Delivered with a fire hose!
So I started (and continued) doorknocking every day (well, let’s be honest, MOST days!). But I didn’t stop there. I got a coach. And another coach. After that, I attended live events. But there was still a problem…
I had made amazing progress but I still felt very depressed and exhausted at times, swamped with confusion and fear, and I would try to avoid these feelings by binge-watching tv, or binge eating, or both. I still felt so sad at times because I no longer had a positive loving relationship with my child (it was complicated) and I couldn’t heal her suffering.
I ended up getting so frustrated because my problems really still existed! I continued searching for more answers, I tried moving (near and far!), and attending more events, and getting more coaching, and I continued learning and discovering more secrets to living a life of happiness and peace.
I thought if I could create a state of mind that would make it possible to live with happiness and joy and peace, even while facing adversity and suffering, I’d be really happy. After many more months (years) of seeking and learning, I discovered my own power to heal myself, and I realized I had been on a journey of self-discovery.
I can now choose peace, serenity, happiness, and detachment over fear and anxiety when faced with conflict and suffering. Most times! I sought and discovered a new mission in life. How many Unstoppable Moms or mothers and sisters and daughters are suffering (worried sick, going broke, being abused, fearing the worst) because someone they love is living with addiction?
I have just started sharing my journey of self-discovery with other Unstoppable Moms and sisters of addicts. My journey was life-changing for me, but it took years — can I show someone else how to save years of searching and suffering, and help them make life-saving changes now?
While my journey to becoming unstoppable moms started over ten years ago, the most amazing outcomes have come to me just in the past two years. It was a meandering road for sure! The serenity, hope, and joy I often feel, where before I was consumed with fear, anxiety, and hopelessness, are well worth it! I’m not perfect at it, and I have moments where I slip back, but I now have the skills and knowledge to regain my footing quickly with minimal (although sometimes intense!) distress.
And at the end of Unstoppable Moms story, all of this means I’m now able to really enjoy my life, focus on the important things, and be the person I choose to be.